disclaimer in part 1
Memories of a Life Changed
He smiled as he picked up the frame from the bureau. He still remembers
that day. The sea was calm as they sailed out from the cape. Sailed out
from France, his home. His grandfather even let him steer. He could see it
all now. The wind flowing past his body as the boat moved through the water.
He could feel his grandfather behind him, helping him turn the wheel. He
saw his grandmother sitting in front of them smiling as she watched her
grandson learn how to sail. He remembered the happiness and simplicity of
the day. He even remembered how his parents were, so loving and protective.
They didn’t want him to learn. They thought he was too young, but
grandfather insisted. They cared about him so much. Then.
He sighed as he put it back down, gently rubbing a finger along his
grandfather’s smiling face. He looked at the other pictures, touched that
she would bring all these pictures with her when she traveled. His parents
wedding photo. Her own wedding. His mom as a smiling girl as she was spun
around by her father. A picture of him and his parents, not the formal ones
taken every year but one taken while they were on vacation.
His thoughts were interrupted as he heard the yelling travel through the
house. He sat on the bed and threw himself with arms spread wide flat onto
the soft comforter. He closed his eyes and just lay there. Taking
everything in. He smiled as he felt someone sit next to him and felt a hand
rub his forehead.
“How was your day?” asked his grandmother gently.
“It was alright.” he replied somewhat disheartened.
“What’s wrong, dear?”
He sighed as he threw one arm across his eyes, “Everything. I just don’t get
it anymore. I feel so disconnected from everything around me. It used to be
all so simple. You pretended. You play the game and you go through the days.
But now. . . . I just so tired of playing.”
“Why is that?” she asked, still stroking his head. She could tell he had
alot on is mind.
“It’s all her fault.” He replied somewhat bitterly.
“Rory Gilmore. I think God was laughing at me the day she walked into my
life. She is so different from any other girl. She’s real. She never even
tried to play the game. She just blew it off. And I admire her so much for
that. I was an ass to her when she first came. I had no idea how to act
around her. She challenged me and scared me and threw my whole life upside
down. Then we came to an understanding and I blew it again. I just wanted
to be with her. She even said that she hated me. That’s what did it.
That’s when I realized it was pointless. I just stopped trying anymore.
Then one day, somehow He stopped laughing and we became friends. We’re so
close to each other and yet so far. She makes me feel alive and free. This
summer was the best one of my life and then school came around again. And
everything about it was still the same; everything except me. I don’t seem
to fit in anywhere. I can’ pretend anymore. I can’t be myself. If I ever do
figure out who that is,” he added bitterly.
His grandmother just listened. She knew exactly what he was talking about.
She had had a similar experience when she had met his grandfather. She knew
about school and about that feeling of being closed in and alone. She also
knew what it was like to feel free and have to go back to the closed in
state. From the time that she arrived, she had known that this Tristin was
almost totally different form the one that she had seen a few months ago.
There was almost no resemblance between the two. He was very happy but that
happiness was tempered with a dark cloud of sadness. A sadness that comes
with knowing that your whole life has been just a play, filled with
meaningless gestures and actors. The sadness would soon turn into
bitterness and then hate. He might even learn to hate this girl whom he
talks so highly and caringly about. Only because she was the one who changed
everything for him and he became lost because of it. Something needed to be
done. She couldn’t let her grandson go through that pain. No one should have
to feel lost about who they are. The silence was broken as more yelling
filtered up. Having parents fighting couldn’t be helping the kid either. She
thought to herself.
Tristin sighed. “Thanks for listening Grandma.” He said almost half asleep,”
I love having you here,” he added as he kissed her goodnight.
“Stay strong, my love” she replied as he walked out of the room.