Disclaimer: note the title for this chapter is from ‘I Miss You’ by Incubus.
And I still don’t own these people but enjoy bending them to my every whim.
The Threefold Utopian Dream
The school day seemed like the longest one of the year for Tristin. He
couldn’t believe that he was leaving everything behind tomorrow. When his
parents told him he was going to Paris, he was ecstatic. When he learned
that he might not come back, he was thrown into despair. Only one thing had
come to mean more to him than anything he had ever felt, or learned or owned
and that was Rory. She was the only real thing in his whole existence. As
long as she was with him, the world he lived in became bearable. One thing
however was clear. He couldn’t be with her until he knew who “he” exactly
was. He had to find the core that was Tristin and that he could only do
alone. He had worn many masks and played many roles throughout his life.
Somewhere along the way he lost who he was and only time would help him find
it. Time away from the life that required them for survival.
Telling her he was leaving was the hardest thing he had ever done. And to
see her cry because of it broke his heart. He only seemed to be able to
bring her pain. He had always seemed like the stronger one but he really got
all of his strength from her. Looking into her eyes and seeing his own
feeling mirrored there had been a surprise. He almost told her what was
deepest in his heart. Then as the bell rang he realized that he had already
missed his chance. He had missed it the first time he called her Mary; the
first time he tormented her, the first time he had jokingly asked her out.
She clearly wanted only friendship from him. And sometimes he even
questioned that. The game had been over long ago.
He left school resigned to the situation. He couldn’t change the past and
didn’t know what the future held. He could only deal with the present.
Tristin was packing up his room when the doorbell rang. The house looked
even more lifeless and empty than normal as he walked through it. It all
held a certain irony. He reached for the handle and opened the door.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
When she saw him standing there, all thoughts flew from Rory’s mind. Her
carefully planned words were gone and her mind went blank. All she could do
“Rory,” said Tristin surprised as he held open the door, “What brings you to
my neck of the woods?”
“I . . . I . . .” stumbled Rory as she failed to come up with any thoughts
let alone a coherent sentence.
She decided to follow her impulse at that moment and throw caution to the
wind. She stepped up into the doorframe, reached her hand up behind
Tristin’s neck and pulled his head down to hers.
Tristin was shocked. So shocked that he just stood still while she pressed
her lips to his. Rory, feeling how one sided the kiss really was began to
pull back. His senses awoken as the reality of the situation finally sunk
in. He stopped her retreat by wrapping his arms around her and leaning
forward to deepen the kiss. Soon they both pulled back, their haggard
breathing the only sound as they studied each other wide-eyed.
Rory’s face broke into a huge smile as she threw her arms around him.
“I just needed to know,” whispered Rory as she leaned her head into his
shoulder, “And I think I got my answer.”
Tristin took a deep breathe as he pulled back suddenly scared this was all a
dream. “Are you sure Rory?” he asked with worry in his eyes. He couldn’t be
broken again. Not this time. Not by her
“Positive,” she replied as she kissed him again.
He pulled back again as another thought entered his head.
“I’m leaving tomorrow.”
“I’m aware,” replied Rory still dizzy from being around him.
“Hey better late then never.”
“That’s for damn sure,” replied Tristin with a grin as he leaned in once
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
“Ok, no more kissing. Serious talk time,” said Tristin as he pulled her
inside the house and into the family room.
“What about Dean?”
Rory sighed. “It’s never been the same since before we broke up. We seem so
far apart sometimes. Too many things have changed. I’ve changed. He won’t
be surprised even if he doesn’t understand. The whole jealousy fiasco was
proof of that. The main reason he didn’t like you was because he knew you
felt and knew you wanted more than friendship from me. I guess deep down
some part of me felt the same way. And he saw that come out between us when
ever we were together.”
“I guess all the flirting in front of him didn’t help either,” replied
“I still say that we were not flirting.”
“Sure we weren’t.”
“You sound just like my mother.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“See your doing it now.”
“Shut up,” replied Rory with a little smile
“You so know I’m right,” replied Tristin with a smirk. It was so easy to
push her buttons.
“You think you know me so well don’t you?” asked Rory with her arms crossed.
He only smiled in response.
“Bet you had no idea that I would just kiss you in your door frame did ya?”
asked Rory with a triumphant smile.
“Fine, I’ll admit I was a little shell-shocked for as moment, but I
recovered,” said Tristin, “Hey we could try it again,” he added with a
Rory leaned forward until she was barely an inch from his face. “You bet we
will.” She replied wickedly as she pulled back and ran her hand down his
cheek. His cheek tingled from her touch.
Tristin sighed. “Which brings us to problem number 2. I’m leaving. Tomorrow”
“Stay,” asked Rory.
“I can’t, Rory,” replied Tristin shakily, ”I have to go; I have to get away
from my old life. I can’t continue on the path that I’ve lived on for so
long. You have shown me so much. And have taught me that only I can change
it. I have to go and I have to go now. You saw what was happening to me. I
can’t live like that. Not anymore.”
“I don’t want to lose you now when I feel like I just found you.”
“You’ve had me since the day we met. And you’ll have me forever. But the
question is where do we go from here?”
“You go and I stay awaiting your return.
“If I return.”
“If you don’t I’ll just come over to Paris and hunt you down.”
“Is that a threat?” asked Tristin challengingly
“It’s a promise,” replied Rory.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“Well that’s my flight,” said Tristin as the voiced boomed over the loud
speaker in the airport. They just looked at each other. Tristin had tried
to tell Rory not to come but she was stubborn and adamant about it. He loved
her all the more for her bullheadedness but this was just so hard. Lorelai
and his grandmother stepped away letting them have a few minutes alone.
“I got you something. Close your eyes,” said Tristin
Rory did as she was told and felt him move behind her. She reached up to the
base of her throat as he felt something placed gently around her neck.
“Open them now,” whispered Tristin his breathe tickling her ear.
“Now you will always have my heart here with you,” he whispered as he
watched her reach down and gently touch the delicate carved heart on the
simple black chord.
Her eyes filled with tears as she spun around and threw her arms around his
neck. He gathered her up in his strong arms and held on with all he could.
They just stood there both not willing to let go.
“Tristin,” the soft voice of his grandmother behind him pulled him from his
“I really have to go,” his voice was harsh with emotion. He pulled back to
look at her one more time and ran a hand down her cheek to wipe away the
tears. She closed her eyes as she leaned into his touch and placed her hand
on top of his. And with a lingering kiss, he turned and was gone.
“I love you,” whispered Rory as she watched him walked away again.