Rating: PG
Pairing: R/T
Summary: Rory and Tristan meet again in Harvard.
Spoilers: Tristan goes away from Chilton and two years later, they meet at
Disclaimers: Let me forewarn you, there's a lot...I don't own "Gilmore
Girls" characters, any TV shows that are mentioned, any quotes taken from TV
shows, and what else??? Ooohh, there is also song in here, don't own that,
either. Well, enjoy!

A Second Chance

By Chrissy

"Mom!! I think I'm all ready to go."

"Ror-I don't think so. Did you get all the coffee I bought for ya?"

"Yes, Mom. All five hundred of them. I think I have enough for at least a
month. Thanks for remembering to get me some coffee for school."

"No, problem, kiddo. Okay, Ror, one more picture in your room. Ready,

"All right, then. I really gotta go now." With that, Rory picked up her
last bag and looked around at her house, and with a sigh of sadness, slowly
began to walk out of her house.

"Hi, Sookie!!"

"Hey, I didn't want you to have your first meal at college to be gross, so I
made this. Now when you cook it, you have to thaw it for thirty minutes,
bake at 500 degrees until the cheese melts, then-"

"Okay Sookie, I think I can handle it with my own directions. Thanks! Luke?"

"Hey, Rory. Well, I made you one last batch of coffee before you leave.
This should last you at least five minutes," as he said referring to the
coffee pot.

"Thanks, Luke! You're the best!"

"I know, Rory. Well, I'm gonna miss you. If anyone tries anything, I got
you some pepper spray here. If you follow the directions, you should be

"Luke, you're not serious. Rory? Is he serious? Pepper spray?" asked

"There's a lot of physcos out there."

"Does that include the one who just brought an eighteen year old girl a full
pot of coffee and said that it could be devoured in 'at least five
minutes'?", Lorelai said making quotes with her fingers.

"I'm beginning to think that Rory should use the pepper spray on you. Well,
Rory, best of luck. All of Stars Hallow is proud of you. Bye!"

"Bye Luke! Okay, Mom, I think I should get going now."

"Wait, Lane wanted me to get a picture of you packing the car."

"Lane. I can't believe she's already off to college already." She pretended
to put something in the jeep and smiled toward the camara. "Okay, no more
pictures, I can't see anything, but blinking lights. Help!!"

"Rory, take a picture of me, then I can pretend you have horns and then we
could play-"

"MOM! Stop, I need to get going." As Rory faced the car, she saw a distant
shadow. Dean. Yes, she was heartbroken to end the relationship with her
three year boyfriend, but they both decided it was for the best. Rory would
be going to Harvard, while Dean went to college in California.

"ROOO-RRY! Now you're the one who's not hurrying up. Look, I'm in the jeep.
 You just need to take a couple steps and plop right down. It's not really
all that hard. If I can do it, so can you."


Parking Lot @ Chilton

"Wwwwwwwwwwwooooooooahhhhh! Jeeeeeeez. How many floors is that? Twenty?
Rory, what floor are you on because if you're on the top floor, I think
you're gonna need a lift to even attempt to get me onto the twentieth floor
because I'm not going up all those stairs, I mean come on, look, that must be
at least-"

"MOM! I'm not on the twentieth floor and anyways, they have an elevator."

"Good to know. So what floor was that?"


"Three's a great number, I mean company." She laughed. "Do you remember that
show "Three's Company" that we used to watch late at night when you thought
"Saved by the Bell" was cool. Awwwww, the memories."

"Mom, stop babbling. I need to check-in, so maybe after that we can have a
babbling contest, see who wins and whoever looses has to buy the other an
icecream. Deal?"


"Okay, I'm gonna sign-in. Do you think you'll be all right here all by

"Yes, Mommy," Lorelai said mockingly.

"All right, kiddo," Rory played along.


Third Floor

"What I wouldn't do if I was only ten years younger. Aaaaaaaaawww. Look at
all those cute guys."

"Mom, they're just guys. It's not like they're Superman or anything."

"Yeah, you're right, but what if one those cuties over there was Zach from
"Saved by the Bell"? Then, what would you say?


"Rory, you can't play dumb with me. I know you have soft spots for blondes,
especially Zzzzzzzaaaaa-acccchhhhhhhh."

"Ugghhh, you're impossible Mom."

"Did I just hear her right? Did I officially win the first round? Oh, thank
you. It took many long hours of practice and I would just like to thank all
the little people who got me here."

"Beauty queen, search for room 321."

"Ok, fine. My darling daughter, we're at 320, next one should be-'


"OOoh, sorry, I didn't mean to open the door on you."

Lorelai was speechless and was staring googly-eyed at the blue eyed, blonde
hair person who supposedly opened the door on her.

"Well, hello there sir. You're looking handsome today."

"Did I hit you with the door that much?" the man joked.

"I think when you hit me, you must have rammed into my coffee spot because
right now, I'm in major need of coffee. Rory, can we please go get some
coffee really, really, really, really soon?"

"Um, Mom, do you think we could put the mattress into my room first?"

"Oh, right."

"You know, I'm sure my son and I could help you bring the mattress into your

"No, that's all right. I'm the next room."

"It's no trouble."

Just then the door opened, and a pair of intense blue eyes stared at the man.
 "Dad, where've ya been? You said you were gonna grab some food. I'm

"Um, son, I'd like you to meet-"

"Lorelai," at that point this young man stared at the two Gilmore girls.

"Ouch! Rory, what was that for?" she said rubbing her foot that had just
been the site where the mattress fell with all the might of the world.


"You've got to be kidding me," Rory mummbeled.

"What was that Rory?" Lorelai asked.

"Nothing. Hello...Tristan."

"Whhaaa" Lorelai uttered. Then looked at Rory. "You mean evil Tristan? The
Tristan that never said 'Goodbye.' The one that you said that you hated?
That Tristan?"

"Yep, Mom. Thanks for the vivid flashback."

"I'm sorry, how do you all know each other?" asked the gentleman.

"Dad, this is Lorelai and well, Lorelai, Gilmore."

Mr. DuGray still was out in the blue. "Who?"

"I went to school with Rory, remember her grandfather does business with my

"OOOOOOOhhhh. Soo, here let's help you with that mattress. Tristan, can you
grab that end?"

"Yeah, what room is it?"


"Well, this should be easy. We're here. Where do you want it?"

Lorelai put her two-sense in, "Do you see where the bed frame is? That would
be great."

That broke the tension between Rory and Tristan while they both laughed.

"All right, we'll leave you two gals alone while you unpack," said Mr. DuGray.

"Thanks a million for the picking up the mattress and putting in the bed
frame and-"

"It's okay. It was our pleasure. Really-"


"Okay, Tristan, well, I hope I'll be seeing you around on weekends."


"Okay already, Tristan. Well, bye"

"Wait a minute. I still never got your name."

"Oh, sorry. It's Todd, Todd DuGray."

"Lorelai Gilmore."


"Okay, Rory. Well, bye! I guess I will be seeing you during the weekend."


"I got ya the first time Rory. Well, bye for real this time"

"Right, bye!"


In the Hallway

"Dad, what was that?"


"Don't play innocent with me, Dad. I'm on to you," he said joking.


Rory's Room



"Were you flirting with a Mr. DuGray?"

"Nnnoooooooo" Lorelai said with her best innocent face on.

"Get in the corner and think about what you did Lorelai Gilmore" Rory joked.

"Ya know, Rory. I think you should flirt with Tristan, then we could all go
on a date and it would like a mother-daughter, father-son kind of a date."

"You're delusional and completely out of your mind."

"Sorry to say, Rory, I'm not out of my mind because I still remember that fun
babbling game we had planned and I have my heart set on Coffee, or
Peanutbutter and Chocalate. My third choice would definetly be mint, then
cookie dough, then I think Rocky Road. Although Rockie Road and Cookie dough
are really good, they're not on my top three...


Later on...

"Well, Ror, gotta go. I'll let you have your first dinner all by yourself
and see if you suck at making food later on. I'm really hoping you are so I
can say we both cook the same, we're both terribly awful. Awww, Ror. I'm
gonna miss you. Well, I'm gonna go unless I'm never gonna go. So, bye

"Bye, Mom! I love you and I'll miss you!"

"I love you, too, more than all the stars in the sky."

"More than all of the space and all the galaxies and all the stars in the sky
including the sun?"

"No, Rory, I think after the stars and galaxies, you're not loved more than
that. Sorry, you're on your own. Ooohhh, maybe *TRISTAN* will love you for
all of the space out there."

"Funny mom. If you don't leave now, I'm going to kick you out."

"Okay, okay. I'm going."




In the Lobby

As Lorelai was searching through her bag for her keys, she bumped into
someone. "Sorry," she muttered, then looked up. "Tristan?"


"Yep. I still can't believe you of all people would be here at Harvard."

"Yeah, well after the move to Maine, my mom and dad divorced. My mom went to
England and my Dad moved back to Hartford. My dad thought that it would be
best to go to Harvard to get the best education possible. So here I am."

"You should've seen Rory when she found out that you had moved..."

"Yeah, I can image it, the biggest grin on her face and that would have been
the best day of her life."

"Actually, quite the opposite. I guess when you two weren't getting along,
she looked forward to you trying to win her over. After you left and I might
add, when you didn't say 'Good bye', Rory wasn't her usual self. It took her
at least two hundred cups of coffee and a couple weeks later to become the
fun loving Rory as we know today."

"I don't get it. She said that she hated me..."

"Tristan, believe me, Rory doesn't hate anyone, she may not have liked you as
a friend, but she sure did like you as an enemy. You've both grown and
changed. Just maybe, you can put the past behind you and start off now, both
grown adults."

"I'll try, but I don't guarantee anything."

"Well, I'm in *major* need of coffee, so let me go find some coffee, get lost
driving home, then not sleep the night and call Rory at seven to make sure
she's alright, then I'll go tell all of Stars-"

"Lorelai, don't worry, I'll keep an eye out for Rory. It would be my

"I'm not going to respond to your last sentence about 'pleasure', but
thanks." Tristan smirked. Lorelai continued, "How can you tell that I'm
worried?? Do I look worried? I'm not normally this bad, it's just that-"

"You're babbling."

"I know. Well, look at the time. I've been chatting away for what, two
hours past the time I planned to go home at. Have fun! I'm leaving now, I


"Bye. Don't forget, she's my little baby. Keep a watch on her. Make sure
she gets along with the other kids and NO fighting..."

"Don't worry! I'll keep an eye on her. She's gonna be fine, but you..."

"Okay, okay, really, bye, this is for real."



As Rory heard a knock at her door, she said, "Mom? You still here?" She
opened the door "Oh, Tristan."

"Well, thanks for the wonderful greeting."

"No problem."

"Um, I was wondering if you were okay."

"Why wouldn't I be?"

Knowing that this little conversation would soon turn to a huge-Jerry
Springer-kind of a fight, Tristan decided to say, "Nothing, well, good night."

Rory somewhat confused as to why Tristan had stopped the sparring match said,
"Good night."


"Can I get a black coffee over here?"

"Are you serious?" asked Rory.

"Yes. Why?" Tristan responded.

"Eewwww. Coffee is supposed to be consumed with large amounts of sugar and
milk, not by itself, silly."

"Thanks for your perspective on coffee, if that's what you call it, but I
think I'll drink my coffee the way I like it, strong."

"Well, fine, I'll drink my coffee nice and sugary," Rory pouted mockingly.

"I'm taking my coffee, which may I add tastes best black, and heading off to
class before I'm late. I would advise you to do the same."

"You just ruined my moment! My special moment with my sugary coffee and you
have to ruin it with the mention of school. Bad Tristan!"

"Sorry Rory, but I need to be in the top three percent of this freshman class
so that my tuition will be fully paid for by my father. And because of that,
I need to get to class on time and work my little tush off."

"Tush?" Rory asked as they walked towards the Harvard buildings.

"Tush, also known as butt, fanny, and gluteous maximus. Do you need any
other synonyms?"

"You forgot buttocks."

"Oh, sorry, bottocks, too. Now are you happy?"

"Not extremly since you RUINED my coffee moment."

"What class do you have now?"

"Geography, what do you have?"

"Intro to English. Bummer class, well, see you around. This is my stop.
Good luck for your first class at Harvard."

"Same for you! Bye-bye. Oh and Tristan, by the way, 'I AM the strongest
link, so GOOD BYE!'"

"I'm the weakest link? I think you're sadly mistaken, *I'm* the strongest
link. GOOD BYE!"


Rory POV

Okay, Geography, Brown Hall. That should be simple to find. Okay, here it is.

"Hello and welcome to Geography. I am Dr. Montgomery and will be teaching
you all Geography this year. First things first, role call. When I say your
name, please say 'present', do not respond to your name as 'here'. Thank you
in advance."

"Allens, Joe."


"Blake, Julie.


"Clamount, Chris."


"Dunne, Ralph."


"Emmerson, Ella."


"Free, Will."


"Garnet, Kyle."


"Green, Fred..."

*Oh, my god, they didn't call my name.*

"Okay, class, did I miss anyone?"

"Um, yes, my name is Lorelai Gilmore."

"Lorelai Gilmore...You're in the wrong class. I have you tomorrow, not
today. Please, bring your schedule up and lets figure out where you should


Tristan POV

"Okay and that is basically what we're going to be doing in Intro to English.
 We'll be researching a lot about all writers and authors. I look forward to
working with all of you this semester."

As the door opened slightly, all eyes were on the intruder.

"Hello. May I help you miss?"

"Yes, I'm handing out these little fliers about the freshman dance in the
Glory Gymnasium on Friday."

"Thanks. I'll hand them out at the end of class."

"Thanks," said the girl as she left.

"Okay, to continue, here is the syllabus..."

Booommmmmmmm. Thuddddddddd.

"Hold on class," said the professor as he walked to the door. "Can I help

"Um, yes. Is this Intro to English?"

"Sure is."

"Whheeeww. For a minute there, I thought I would never find it. I'm Lorelai
Gilmore. Well, actually, I like to be called Rory."

"Okay, Rory. You can take a seat whereever. I was just about to hand out a
syllabus, but luckily, I haven't handed anything out."

As Rory entered, she caught Tristan's gaze. She decided to sit in back of
him so that he wouldn't stare through her head like he had previously done in

As Rory was sitting, Tristan whispered, "Why are you here?"

"I went to the wrong class," which Tristan responded to by laughing

"Mr. DuGray, is there a problem."

Between laughing fits, Tristan responded by, "No, Mr. Town."

"Good, then I advise you pay attention to the syllabus that was just handed


After class

"Rory, please, if you do something funny like go to the wrong class, please,
pretty please, don't tell me in class about it even if I ask about it. I
think the professor was about to kick me out."

"Well, Tristan, maybe if you didn't find it SO funny, the professor wouldn't
have gotten you in trouble."

"I'm sorry, Rory. But the wrong class?? Do you need me to read your
schedule so that you know where you're supposed to go tomorrow, Rory?" he

"Tristan, it's times like these that remind me that you're one hundred
percent jerk."

"Awww, come on Ror. I'm only joking with you even if you can't read a
schedule for your life."

"Thanks Tristan, that makes me feel soooo confident inside."

"I know, I try. Making people confident is really hard, but I pull it off
well," he smiled.
"I can't wait until the dance on Friday," he conveyed to Rory so that she
would get the hint that he wanted to go with her.

"Why? So you can make out with at least two girls at once? By the way,
would that be a record breaker for you?"

"Sorry, Rory, once a one gal kind of a guy, always a one gal kind of a guy.
No record breakers yet."

"A one-girl guy? Did I just hear you right, Tristan?"

"You mean you just heard this *amazing*, seductive voice like the one
speaking now? Well, of course, I'm a one-girl guy. That's what it takes to
be a stud in Harvard," he joked.

"You, a stud?"

"I'm the biggest stud on Campus becauser every girl is like, 'Damn, look at
the guy, he's soo gorgeous. He's got the most beautiful blue-"

"Okay, Tristan. That's enough. I think I'm going to throw up. I gotta go,
but you can still keep talking about yourself to yourself."


Rory POV

"Hi, Mom. Did you loose the phone again?"

"How did you know?"

"You picked up on the tenth ring. You're not breaking any records anymore,

"I know, I was just in a daze. I can't stop thinking about Todd."

"Todd who?"

"Todd who???? Rory, Todd as in DuGray, as in Tristan's father, as in-"

"Okay Mom, I get the point. I can't believe you were drooling over Mr. Todd

"Rory, I think you're just jealous that I wasn't drooling over

"Am not!"

"Well, Rory, get used to Todd because in twenty-years down the road, that's
what Tristan's gonna look like..."

"No, Mom, Tristan will be much cuter." *Oh, my god!! Did I just tell my mom
I thought Tristan is cute??*

"Rory, you've got some explaining to do!! You like Tristan?? Awwwww.
When's the wedding? I want to be the first to know!!"

"Mom, someone's knocking at the door. I gotta go."

"Sure, there's someone knocking at the door, anything to get you farther away
from your feeling for TRISSSSSSSSSSS-TTAAAAANNNNN!!"

"Mom, there really is someone at the door."

"Oh, bye!"


"Hold on a second." Rory opened the door, Tristan said "Hey Ror. Um, I was
wondering if you wanted to go to the movies tonight."

"Um, I don't know. I've got a lot of work to do."

"Come on, Rory. That's a lie. You only had one class today and that was
with me and we don't have any homework or tests coming up."

"Tristan, how do you know what my schedule is?? How do you know I don't have
another class later on?"

"Because *I* can read schedules," he smirked, "And besides, it'll be fun.
It'll get us away from Harvard for a little bit. Pretty please with a cherry
on top??"

"Okay, but only this once."

"I don't think so Rory, once you've had fun with Tristan, you never stop at
one. You'll be back."

"Um, no. Consider yourself lucky that I'm coming with you now," Rory said.

"Consider yourself lucky, Tristan DuGray. Got it Tristan??? Okay, Tristan,
now let's tell Rory that we'll pick her up at seven, okay? Rory, I'll pick
you up at seven."

"Do you talk to yourself all the time?"

"Actually, yes. See, when you left me at the high point in my conversation
about being a stud, I continued the conversation by myself and found out that
I don't want to be a stud anymore, I wanna be a geek. It's much easier to be
a geek than it is to be a stud. See, a geek can go where ever he wants to go
and not get bothered by this huge gang of girls and while being a stud, you
can never go anywhere without having at least two girls follow you. It's
quite tiresome."

"Tiresome as in talking to yourself? Tristan, you're NOO stud, but now, you
could settle for a geek."

"I think that's my cue to leave. Seven. Adios!"

"Bye, geek!"



"Tristan, are you almost ready?"

"I'm just gelling my hair, I'll be out in a sec. Don't have a hissy fit."

"Me, a hissy fit?? Never. This is quite amazing. I've never seen a guy
take longer than a girl. I find it hilarious."

"I like to look nice, besides geek boy wasn't working out, so I'm normal boy
now who likes to look nice."

"Are you ready now?"

"That excited to go out with me to the movies?? You can't even wait??"

"Oh, Tristan, I'm madly in love with you, but I haven' t come to realize it
yet. Kiss me once and I'll know for sure," Rory joked.

"I give up!! You're too good at this game for me."

"Yeahhhh, I won!!"


"I've been ready for the past ten minutes."



"What movie are we seeing??"

"Rory, it's a surprise."

"I hate surprises."

"How can anyone hate surprises??"

"How can anyone like you??"

"I'm really easy to get along with once you learn to worship me," Tristan

"Worship...you?? Never!!"

As they approached the window, Rory noticed there was only one movie playing.
 "Tristan, how can this be a surprise if there is only one movie playing?"

"It isn't a surprise because, duh, you don't like surprises."


"Yes, I won that match!! Thank you, thank you!! Two for 'the only movie
playing'," Tristan laughed, "also known as "Pearl Harbor"."

As soon as they were seated in the theatre, an awkward silence filled the
air. "So, where've you been for the last couple of years?"

"My family moved up to Maine for business. Then last year, my mom and dad
divorced. My mom's in England and my dad moved back to Hartford."

"I think you should write a script about your life. It would sell for
millions of dollars, then it would be made into a movie," Rory said trying to
lighten the mood.

The movie begins...

This song is called "Be Like That" by Three Doors Down.

He spends his nights in California, watching
The stars on the big screen
Then he lies awake and he wonders, why
Can't that be me
Cause in his life he is filled with all these good intentions
He's left a lot of things he'd rather not
Mention right now
But just before he says goodnight, he looks
Up with a little smile at me and he says

As Tristan watches the movie, he sees a couple who's in love and for once,
just once, it involved Rory and himself. He can't help but wonder if being
away from her for over two years only made him realize that he wants to spend
the rest of his life with her.

If I could be like that, I would
Give anything
Just to live one day, in those shoes
If I could be like that, what would I do,
What would I do

Tristan wishes that he could just go a day and not act like a total jerk to

Now and dreams we run

She spends her days up in the north park,
Watching the people as they pass
And all she wants is just a little piece of
This dream, is that too much to ask
With a safe home, and a warm bed, on a
quiet little street
All she wants is just that something to
Hold onto, that's all she needs

As Rory watches the movie, she realizes that Tristan and herself have both
changed, for the better. As she looks at Tristan, she decides that he's not
as much of a jerk as he once was to her and that she should give him a second
chance. Rory can tell that this will work because he's letting her into his
little world, slowly, but surely.


If I could be like that,
I would give anything
Just to live one day, in those shoes
If I could be like that, what would I do,
What would I do

I'm falling into this, in dreams
We run away

Both contemplate if they should tell the other about their feelings.

If I could be like that, I would
Give anything
Just to live one day, in those shoes
If I could be like that, what would I do,
What would I doIf I could be like that, I would
Give anything
Just to live one day, in those shoes
If I could be like that, what would I do,
What would I do

If I could be like that, I would
Give anything
Just to live one day, in those shoes
If I could be like that, what would I
do, what would I do

Falling in
I feel I am falling in, to this again

As the movie ends, both don't confront their feelings and go back to their
normal childish banter.



"Rory, now you're the slow poke.

"I still don't believe we have to go stuff envelopes for Intro to English
community service."

"Me neither. Can't we see what's behind door number two and see if it's
better?? Couldn't he give us something else to do besides stuff envelopes,
which as a result gives you paper cuts?"

"Yes, Rory, he could make you drink coffee for free and then say you're
trying to break a record. Is that the building over there?"

"Let's hope it is because I can't walk much further."

"Ladies, first," said Tristan as they entered the building.

"Is this place a dungeon or what?"

"This is worse than a dungeon, it's Hell with fluorescent lighting."

"This coming from a Satan wannabe?"

"Sorry, Tristan's not here right now, he's having a wannabe-Satan meeting
with the one and only Satan, but you could leave a message," laughed Tristan.

"It's two-thirty on Thursday. Okay, Satan Wannabe's answering machine, could
you tell Tristan that we need to start getting some paper cuts soon, so that
we can leave earlier. Thanks."


Four hours later

"Yeah!! We're done!!"

"And reportedly no paper cuts on either of us. Now, that's a record! You
ready to dance the night away?"

"Of course. I get to check out the latest Studs who reached "I'm dead sexy"
on the Stud-a-meter."

"What about normal guy??"

"Normal guy better start getting ready if he wants his hair to look nice in
less than twenty minutes."


Twenty minutes later

"I'm ready, Rory!!"

"So am I, and we're off."

"Glory Gymnasium? Who comes up with these names?"

"How should I know?"

"Ya wanna dance?"


As a fast song came, Rory and Tristan made there way to the center of the
dance floor. It seemed that once they had started dancing, the music ended
and a slow song came on.

The beginning of the slow dance was awkward, but soon Tristan put his arm
around her waist and pulled her closer to him. Just as Tristan was about to
twirl Rory, she screamed, "My ring!! My ring just fell off. My mom gave to
me when I was four, I need my ring!"

"I'll find it, don't worry," said Tristan as he began to crawl on the floor.
He wiped his hand across the floor and finally found it. "I found it, Rory."

Rory walked over to him, and Tristan, with one-knee on the ground, lifted the
ring up to Rory.

Just then, the music stopped and everyone began clapping at the two.

"What??" exclaimed Rory and Tristan at the same time.

Then, an older woman came up to the two and said, "Congratulations!"



Below this is are some really funny jokes that I used in my story and some I
altered a tad, but believe me, I did NOT write them. I found them in a chain
letter that was sent to me.


1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of s***.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
10. Ahhh...I see the f***-up fairy has visited us again...
11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
24. Do I look like a people person?
25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic, & disorder -- my work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks